Well im not long back from the hospital
I've to keep trying to work hard at all my treatments and physio!
I've also got an appoitment with the phycologist next week, im hoping they will be able to help. My little head is just all over the place these days!

I also like Ali wish people would actually understand CF, i know its quite hard but most people just think its a wee illness that affects your lungs. They dont understand how it affects you mentally. As i've got older i've realised what CF actually is and i actually HATE it. I never use this word but cant help to use it on this subject. CF has stole many great friends from me and i sometimes feel like my heart has been riped out over and over again!

There is days when i just wake up and this what is the point? I sometimes feel like i dont have the energy to keep fighting and it would be so much easier to just let the CF win but i dont want to. I want to keep fighting for all the people who cant. I want to somehow be able to beat CF, no matter how hard things get.

I try not to let CF get me down but sometimes things just get to much and you cant help it. People dont understand how hard living with CF is, having to do all the treatments and not being able to do all the things your friends do.

People say i know how you feel, i understand it but they really dont. They dont have CF and dont know what its like to live with it each day. I hate CF so much for taking away some of the most special friends i've ever had. I go to bed and wish i would wake up and this would all just be a big bad dream.

On the other hand i have met so many friends who will forever hold a special place in my heart and if i didnt have CF i would know them. CF has made me a stronger person and has made me aprreciate all the small things in life, its the small things in life that mean so much.

Well ive rammbled on enough! Sorry x x